The “P” word, is often excluded from our daily conversations, especially when it becomes problematic. The topic of pornography within the church is seen as even more a complex and sensitive topic, often eliciting strong opinions from various perspectives. As a person of faith and having studied an undergraduate degree in Theology, I am often asked to help support leaders in the church, struggling with porn addiction and porn usage, which often conflicts against their moral code. But despite trying to stop and trying to manage the negative and often catastrophic consequences porn brings, people cannot stop. 

 “Try harder to stop” isn’t ever a helpful statement.

 Pornograpy needs addressing, responding to well.

 If it’s gone beyond a habit, no matter how much you try to stop it and you just can’t, it may well be an addiction.

Like sex, pornography has been around since the dawn of time, with erotic illustrations found in caves in France thousands of years ago. Since printing was invented about 600 years ago, people have been enjoying erotic images until obscenity laws came into force to protect the public. Then came the dawn of the internet and pornography use was explosive. A growing consumption of internet pornography since then has become an increasing problem, mainly in the male population and is closely linked to compulsive sexual behaviour [Privara & Bob, 2023]. 

 What are some of the triggers of excessive pornography use?

Some findings suggest the rise in use represents a defence mechanism against stress, to help with mood regulation, decrease depressive symptoms and anxiety and soothe against feelings of rejection, abandonment, loneliness and attachment issues. Other studies have suggested conflicting emotional experiences, moral conflicts and identity issues which can significantly increase vulnerability to addictive sexual behaviour and pornography consumption; that it is a response to deeper psychological needs rather than being about biological sex [Hall, 2021]. 

 So, how can we open eyes and free lives from the grip of pornography that can damage and hinder so many? How can the church help porn users, and even their partners? How can we talk about pornography to find hope and help? With shame, fear of judgement and rejection, ex communication, let alone relationship breakdown, how easy is it for people to speak up and get help? 

The church seeks to be the safest place on earth. We need to approach sufferers with compassion, care and without judgement. Silence keeps sufferers locked in darkness, secrecy and lacking in hope. I seek to change this narrative. 

If you are suffering, if you are a user or a partner who is, come and talk to us.

Written by Helen Marton, Clinical Lead, WBG

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07480 174498

Anxiety, warrior or worrier?

This phrase is powerful - it captures the internal battle so many of us face on a daily basis. Worrier is where a lot of us start - stuck in the loops of overthinking, overwhelm, exhaustion and fear. Being a warrior doesn’t mean you don’t still feel it, but you keep showing up, fighting through, even when it’s hard. It’s not about perfection. It’s about persistence.

You can be both, worrier and warrior.

Some days you’re in the trenches, some days you’re conquering mountains. But even on the days you’re just surviving - that’s warrior work. 

Anxiety is our body’s natural response to stress. It’s a feeling of fear, dread, or uneasiness. It’s totally normal to feel anxious sometimes, but when it becomes frequent, intense or hard to control, it can be an anxiety disorder. 

Some common symptoms can be:

Excessive worry or fear

Feeling restless or on edge

Trouble concentrating 

Irritability

Rapid heart rate

Shortness of breath

Trouble sleeping, eating or over eating

Stomach ache

You’re not alone.

There can be many causes of anxiety and ways to manage it through lifestyle choices, meditation and medication as well as therapy. 

If you need someone to talk to about what’s making you feel anxious, or you need some tools and tips to manage it, reach out to us here at The Wellbeing Garden, we’re here to listen. 

Written by Helen Marton, Clinical Lead, WBG

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07480 174498